Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
