remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
