so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
