you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
