it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
