Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
