so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
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What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They have beer where we have blood.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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