4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
