My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize