a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize