my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I came so hard my ears popped.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
