she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
