Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
