there's paper in my vomit.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
