Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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