This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
