just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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