I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
