I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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