he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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