Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she looked like the before picture.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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