WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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