you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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