the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize