i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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