Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
