Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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