We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How's work?
Spinning.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
