Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
