I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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