it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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