I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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