Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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