sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
