Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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