I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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