Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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