I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
