you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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