remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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