You're my little dorito
Tell her she can't have a vagina
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
