Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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