If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
