Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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