is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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