I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm really into asian looking animals
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
