Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize