i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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