You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
