Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Randomize
