Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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