Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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