it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
