Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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