Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
