She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
