whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
