Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
